Wondering about sexual thoughts involving younger children
If you are concerned and wondering about your own sexual thoughts and behaviors towards significantly younger children, we encourage you to answer these questions honestly. When we say “significantly younger,” we mean there is usually about a 3-year age gap between you and the children you are thinking about.
It is normal and healthy to have questions about sex and sexuality. When these questions involve sex with younger children, it is important to check in with yourself. Especially if you are a teenager thinking about younger children, or if you are a young adult thinking about underaged youth.
If you answer yes to more than one of these questions, it can be really helpful to speak confidentially with a counselor who works with people on sexual behavior questions. These questions are designed to help you decide whether you may want to ask for help from a professional counselor.
IF YOU’RE UNDER 18
Questions to ask yourself about sexual thoughts
Answer YES or NO to the following 10 questions. These questions are meant for people under age 18. (Scroll down for questions for people over age 18.)
Have you ever felt a sexual attraction/feelings of arousal for a child who is significantly younger than you (usually at least 3 years younger)?
Do you feel unable to talk to anyone about those feelings and/or believe that you must keep your feelings a secret?
Have you looked at videos or images because they showed significantly younger children? If so, have you wanted to stop but found that you could not?
Have you ever had sexual contact with children significantly younger than you?
Have you secretly watched younger children or exposed yourself (exhibitionism) to younger children for sexual, romantic or other purposes?
Have you bought gifts for significantly younger children, offered favors, or given them money in order to get them to trust you and like you so that you could be physically, emotionally, or sexually close to them? If so, were you hopeful that you could touch them sexually, or have a sexual and/or intimate relationship with them?
Have you had unwanted and/or repeating fantasies of significantly younger children but felt unable to control those thoughts?
Do you find that romantic/sexual fantasies about, or sexual behavior toward, children or underage teens interferes with your life in any way?
Do your feelings of sexual attraction and/or arousal to younger children conflict with your spiritual beliefs or moral values?
Has your sexual attraction to children ever left you feeling worried or frightened, ashamed, hopeless or suicidal, different or alienated from others? Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you were not sexually attracted to younger children?
If you answer YES to more than one question or aren’t sure about how to respond, we encourage you to seek more information, support and help from a professional trained in healthy sexuality and problematic sexual behaviors. You don’t have to figure this out alone. There is non-judgmental, compassionate help available! Text, chat, email or call us for support today.
IF YOU’RE 18 OR OLDER
Questions to ask yourself about sexual thoughts
Answer YES or NO to the following 10 questions. These questions are meant for people age 18 or older.
Have you ever felt a sexual attraction/feelings of arousal for children or underage teenagers (a boy or girl 17 years old or younger)?
Have you been unable to talk to anyone about those feelings and/or believe that you must keep your feelings a secret?
Have you looked at or purchased videos or other sexual materials that showed children or underage teens?
Have you ever had sexual contact with children or underage teens?
Have you ever secretly watched children or underage teens (window peeping or voyeurism) or exposed yourself (exhibitionism) to children or underage teens for sexual, romantic or other purposes?
Have you bought gifts for children or underage teens, offered favors, or given them money in order to get them to trust you and like you so that you could be physically, emotionally, or sexually close to them? If so, were you hopeful that you could touch them sexually, or have a sexual and/or intimate relationship with them?
Have you shown pornography (or material that is sexual in nature) to children or underage teens, or intentionally left it where they could find?
Have you sexualized or romanticized an interaction with a child or underage teen, such as eye contact or a hug, or told yourself "age is just a number," or "he/she is mature for his/her age," or something similar to make yourself feel better about your sexual thoughts or behaviors toward children or underage teens?
Have you ever wanted to stop looking at sexual images and materials of children and found you could not stop?
Have you had unwanted and/or repeated fantasies or sexualization of children but felt unable to control those thoughts?
If you answer YES to more than one question or aren’t sure about how to respond, we encourage you to seek more information, support and help from a professional trained in healthy sexuality and problematic sexual behaviors. You don’t have to figure this out alone. There is non-judgmental, compassionate help available! Text, chat, email or call us for support today.
