I read online that I could be a pedophile, could that be true?
A young person reached out to us recently feeling really worried because they read a post online that talked about pedophilia. The post they read said that anyone who feels attracted to someone younger than them is a pedophile. We cleared some things up for this person, and thought that others might need to hear this information as well.
What does “pedophile” mean?
First, it’s important to know that pedophilia is a mental health diagnosis for someone 16 years or older with an ongoing sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, meaning young children usually 11 years or younger who haven’t gone through puberty yet. Someone who is diagnosed with pedophilia may be exclusively attracted to young children, or they may also feel attracted to people their own age.
Not every person who has sexual thoughts and feelings about children will fit the criteria for pedophilia, and not every person who is diagnosed with pedophilia will sexually abuse a child. In fact, many people who fit the criteria for pedophilia live happy, fulfilling, and safe lives - never sexually harming a child or anyone else.
The term “pedophile” is used to describe someone with pedophilia, but is also frequently used to label and shame someone else, often without knowing anything at all about that person’s sexual thoughts or feelings. As pedophilia is a mental health diagnosis, we do not label someone by this diagnosis, so calling someone a pedophile only makes people feel bad and does not support anyone who might otherwise reach out for help with concerns about thoughts they are having.
Only a licensed medical or counseling professional, like a therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor can assess or diagnose pedophilia. No one on the internet can say someone else is a pedophile, and often the opinions of those posting on social media are not based in fact, but on misconceptions and stigma about those diagnosed with pedophilia, or they are using this word to bully and harass someone.
Finding support
Having thoughts and feelings alone does not mean that any one person is bad; our sexual attractions can be complex and sometimes difficult to figure out on our own. They can change over time, and sexual thoughts about younger children can come up for many different reasons.
Our FAQ “Why do people have sexual thoughts about younger children?” and our blog “Wondering about sexual thoughts involving younger children” provides more information.
Asking questions is a great first step! The more any one understands about their own thoughts and feelings, the better able they are able to make safe decisions. And there are counselors who can help you explore your personal thoughts and feelings, safely and respectfully. Our helpline counselors are here to help anyone learn more, and take steps finding additional support to figure this out.
