I can’t stop watching CSAM! What is wrong with me?
Note: This person messaged our helpline because they said they can’t stop watching CSAM, aka child sexual abuse material. We used to call it “child porn,” but now we call it CSAM to reflect the fact that all sexual content of people under age 18 is illegal. Here is how we responded.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! We actually hear from a lot of other young people who are also struggling with their online viewing behaviors. And like you, they carry around a lot of heavy feelings because of it. We’re so glad you’ve found us and that we can share some information with you.
Most importantly, know that people who view this content are not bad people. We have 30 years of experience helping people who look at CSAM, so we’re definitely experts on the topic. Please, believe us when we say: you are not a bad person. No one is a bad person for having viewed CSAM.
People watch CSAM for different reasons. Like with most things in life, it’s complicated. And not everyone who views CSAM is necessarily sexually attracted to children, although some are. Here are a few of the reasons people tell us they have watched it:
Some people follow a trail of sexually explicit content, become interested in things they’ve never seen before, and then accidentally find CSAM. While some people seek out legal pornography, but find themselves losing control and spending more and more time viewing it. They may look constantly for new and different types of pornography, including CSAM - finding themselves intrigued by the shock or taboo of what they are seeing.
Some people come across CSAM accidentally and click out immediately, but others may be unexpectedly turned on by this content, and then they seek out more.
Some people become interested in watching sexual situations involving people their own age, but find that as they get older their attractions remain focused on the same younger age group.
Some people identify an attraction to younger children and seek out this content because it fulfills the sexual arousal they are feeling.
Regardless of how you started watching CSAM, there IS support and help to stop and gain the tools to make safer decisions online. You deserve to not carry around any shame or guilt for what you are watching. We want you to be safe and happy!
Reach out to our WhatsOK helpline to talk to a counselor more about what steps you can take to begin making safer decisions online and find the support that you need. Our helpline is confidential, so we don’t ask for last names, addresses, phone numbers or anything else. We’re here to help you, not get anyone in trouble.
